The School Year Was Already Off to a Funny Start
by murpleberries
Summary: The Doctor turns up in the Gryffindor common room to visit an old friend about some missing students, leaving a couple of confused wizards in his wake.
1. Chapter 1

Wrrrrr. Wrrrrr. Wrrrr. "No, Harry, you can't go looking for it, it's much too dangerous-" Hermoine's words trailed off at the noise. Wrrrr. Wrrrrr. Wrrrrr. It was a warm September evening, but the common room fireplace was still emitting bright red flames. Just the second week into term and things at Hogwarts had already grown strange. "What's that noise?" asked Hermoine, looking at Ron, whose face had gone so pale that his freckles had disappeared into his complexion. "Ron? Are you okay?" Ron slowly lifted a finger and pointed above Harry's shoulder. Hermoine and Harry slowly turned to look. A blue police box was suddenly and inexplicably sitting in the Griffindor common room. Harry stood up and slowly walked toward it. "Harry! Don't touch it!" Hermoine whispered, "It's impossible to disappirate anything onto school ground, who ever brought it here must've done so with dark magic." "All the more reason to enter it, Hermoine. What if it's Voldemort?" (If possible, Ron's face grew even more pale with the mention of the dark wizard's name) "What if it has something to do with the disappearing students?" He turned away from his friends and slowly stepped towards the box of bluest blue as if it was the Hungarian Horntail that had tried to bludgeon him to death the past year. Just as he reached out a finger to poke the door, it was yanked open from inside. Harry jumped. In the doorway stood a man with a bow tie and a plunger slung casually over his shoulder. "Why hello there!" He exclaimed. He noticed Harry staring at the plunger. "Oh, don't mind this." He threw it over his shoulder and stepped out of the box. "Let's see, what have we here." He pulled a small metal cylinder out of his pocket. When he pressed a button the end shone with a green light. He pointed this in Harry's eye, then drew it back and examined it as if it were a particularly interesting book that he was in the midst of reading. "Ah yes, wizards, at least I got that bit right." He looked up at Harry, "Black hair, green eyes, scar" He glanced at Ron and Hermoine, "Bushy hair, ginger, God I wish I was ginger, right." He looked back at Harry, "I'd bet my ood that you're the famous Harry Potter, aren't you? Where am I then?" Harry looked slightly taken aback. "H-hogwarts, sir." he stuttered, "The Griffindor common room. And if you don't mind my asking, how exactly did you know who I was?" Hermoine interrupted, "Oh please Harry, this is the wizarding world, everyone knows who you are. The better question is, how did he get here?" The eccentric man spun towards Hermoine, "Ah yes, Miss Granger, an excellent question indeed. You are clever. No, don't call me sir, I'm not a sir, hopefully never will be." He spun back towards Harry, "You can call me The Doctor. I'm here to visit an old friend." At that moment the portrait door swung open and Dumbledore walked in. "Ah, hello there Doctor, you received my message then, I presume?" The Doctor's face broke into a smile, "Dumblydore! Fantastic!" He pulled a small glowing cube from his tweed pocket, "Sorry, must've got the coordinates slightly off, you know how the TARDIS is, type-40, she's older than me." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled at the sight of his old friend, "Older than you? What a feat that must be. Excuse my asking, but how old are you at the moment, Doctor? I believe at our last meeting you looked a bit different." The Doctor laughed, "Dumbledore, you old coot! I'm only a thousand and one, didn't you get my birthday party invite? Probably not, it was held at Millaways, the restaurant at the end of the universe, pain in the arse to get to but well worth it." Through out this entire conversation, Ron had been sitting in his chair with his mouth agape. Harry had taken to poking around the blue box, and Hermoine had been desperately trying to follow a conversation that made no sense to her. "Sorry to interrupt, sir, but did you say 1001 years old? How is that possible? I thought you said that the philosopher's stone was destroyed." Dumbledore turned his steady gaze on Hermoine, "It was indeed destroyed, Miss Granger, but with time you will learn that the creatures of Earth have significantly shorter lifespans than some from other parts of the universe." He turned back to the Doctor, "Shall we go to my office to discuss the issue that has been plaguing my school, Doctor?" "Ah yes, of course. Is it alright if I leave the TARDIS in here? She's a pain to move. Yes? Excellent." The Doctor turned his sonic screwdriver towards the blue box, which caused the door to lock with a satisfying click. He then turned and followed Dumbledore through the portrait hole, leaving three students looking as though they'd been stupefied in his wake.


	2. Chapter 2

Hermoine was the first to recover. "The doctor," she muttered to herself. She sat quite still for some time, then stood up and ran up the staircase to the girls dormitory. Ron gazed after her for a minute, then turned to Harry, who was still examining the blue box. Harry looked up; "Ron, close your mouth, or you'll swallow a cornish pixie." Ron realized that his mouth had been hanging open for quite some time and promptly closed it. "Harry?" Harry was running his fingers along the side of the box, "hmm?" "Harry, he just… appeared." Ron was still having trouble processing it. "Yes he did Ron" Harry responded distractedly. "But Harry, that's impossible." "Nothings impossible." Hermoine had returned, struggling under a pile of school books. "And I think we'll be able to work out what happened, we just need to look in these books. Dumbledore said he wasn't human, right? But he looks human. So he must be alien!" She threw a book at Ron, grabbed one for herself and sat down on the couch. "I've brought all my astrology books. We found Nicolas Flamel, we can find him! Come on Harry, you need to help too." Harry wasn't paying attention. He was now searching the lock of the box, as though it would give him the answers. He bent down and pulled his wand out of his pocket, holding it level with the lock. With very careful, precise words, he uttered the incantion: "Alohomora." With a click, the door creaked open. Hermoine and Ron looked over. Harry nodded at them, "Right, I'm going in." "Harry you can't do that-" Harry had already stepped into the box. He disappeared from view for a minute or two, then his head popped back out. "Guys, you'll never guess! It's bigger on the inside! Come get a look at it!" Hermoine looked disgruntled: "Harry, no, you can't go poking around in an alien's belongings; it's wrong and frankly quite rude-" Ron, on the other hand, had jumped off the couch and ran into the box; "Harry, I think I found a swimming pool!" Harry's head once again disappeared from view. "Harry!" Hermoine called. "Ron! Ugh!" After a moment of internal conflict, where she seemed to be trying to decide whether to enter the box or run to Dumbledore's office, she stood up. "Stupid boys." Hermoine strode into the box; "Harry, Ron?" She stopped. The sight before her eyes was unlike anything she'd ever seen before.


End file.
